Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
