wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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