uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
