I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
