you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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