went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize