Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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