Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize