He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
