When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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