I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
