I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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