And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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