we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
