you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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