Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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