Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize