no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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