he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
