she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
