i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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