went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
