I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
