Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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