Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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