My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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