apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just pee around me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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