I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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