That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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