The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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