wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
