Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize