I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
