I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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