Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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