he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
