i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
