This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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