did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
