I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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