Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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