i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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