Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
