Me too!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
