she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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