What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
