escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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