I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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