girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
