I accidentally burped into my bong.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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