u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I checked into jail on foursquare
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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