He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
