Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
