READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
