your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
