He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Randomize
