You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
