Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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