Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
