Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize