you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
