Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
