what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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