Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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