if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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